Blog posts of '2012' 'June'

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Double Window Envelopes

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Double Windows Envelopes Are The Best Envelopes!

As an office employee, I use envelopes for many different things. I have to say, though, Double Window Envelopes are my favorite. That sounds funny, doesn’t it? To say one has a “favorite envelope.” But it’s true. I use them most often to mail checks. And when I slide a check inside one, I love that I get to see both the address and the return address showing through the little plastic windows.

It always gives me a little jolt of pleasure when I realize I will not have to remember (again) which way to put the envelope into the printer in order to print the mailing information. I ruin so many envelopes that way. With my Double Window Envelopes, I only have to use the printer once! The check has all the information on it and I never have to waste time printing the same information twice.

With other envelopes, you can stuff them any which way. I enjoy sliding that check in just that certain way so that everything displays correctly. Double Window Envelopes demand a certain procedure. They have protocol. In order for them to do the job they were created to do, one has to do it their way. I like for my office supplies to take charge like that.

Sometimes I make a mistake when I hand address envelopes. I hate throwing away a perfectly good envelope. I never have that happen to me when I am using Double Window Envelopes. I hate to waste paper. My boss hates it even more. He yells at me and then I’m sad or I get upset and while I am muttering to myself, I sometimes manage to ruin another envelope! My favorite ones, though, never leave me in this predicament.

Do you ever think about the office supplies having personalities? I do. A staple remover is arrogant. If you use him incorrectly, he will bite you. A piece of paper is submissive; equally willing to be either the vessel of important ciphers and diagrams or just scribbles and doodles. Double Window Envelopes are regal and demanding, “You will insert your document into me a certain way, or you will not be able to mail it.”

I sometimes stare at those finished Double Window Envelopes with all those checks in them. Each payee clearly displayed in the lower window while the company logo proudly occupies the upper one. I like to imagine that every one of those checks are for me.

Yes, I guess I am just a crazy cubicle clown. My mind wanders sometimes when I’m stuck staring at my little walls trying to get some work done. I’m writing this right now while I should be doing some payroll checks. Oh, hey! Today is payday! Today, one of those Double Window Envelopes will have my name staring back at me thru the little window! Yay!
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